Crying Alone?
The calendar tells us that we have officially entered into a new year. That’s cool. Most of us appreciate freshness and new starts and we need to take every opportunity we get for this. But the reality is the calendar changes while we still carry many old things over into the New Year that we would rather leave behind – things like bills, extra pounds around the waistline (yikes!) and heartache.
I was sitting in traffic behind a minivan driven by a woman who had two small children in the back. The woman was wiping tears from her eyes. I watched her for quite a while and wondered what has broken her heart? I will never know, but I prayed. I rounded the corner and the woman in the sedan driving toward me was weeping behind the wheel. I wondered, what was causing this woman such pain? What hopes and dreams have been shattered? I will never know, but I prayed. My day went on from there as I visited a young man in prison. He wept with great heartache saying, “Rob, if I could only go back and start over and make different choices. I’ve destroyed my dreams and hurt so many people.” I listened and cried and prayed. I made two other visits that day with two other young men, each sharing their deep wounds beginning from childhood, crying and sharing heartache, regret and dreams lost. In recent days, I have been sitting alongside of friends crying who have lost loved ones to death and others crying while losing a marriage through unfaithfulness and divorce. I have hugged parents weeping over children who have gotten caught up in destructive behavior and youth overwhelmed by the emotions of life. Wow, life is beautiful and life is hard.
There are many tears and much sorrow in this world. It is a rare moment that we are not feeling pain personally or coming alongside of someone close to us in the midst of heartache and tears. So, while reading Psalm 56 the other day I took a deep breath when I came to these words in verse 6: “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all of my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Hmm… I thought. That’s an amazing statement. Was this David simply being poetic or had he come to know the heart of God so intimately that in his sorrow he was sure God took note of each tear he shed? I closed my eyes and envisioned God collecting the tears of these women in their cars, these young men in prison and my other friends in grief. I closed them again and envisioned all the tears of mine that God has collected over the years. It felt good to know that every tear had been noticed and recorded.
Very often we feel like we weep alone. But if Jesus is trustworthy and the words of scripture are true, no tear goes unnoticed. I have been reading through the book of Isaiah and pondering these words the prophet wrote about the Messiah: “He was despised and rejected, a Man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief… yet it was our weaknesses He carried; it was our sorrows that weighed Him down... He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.” (Isaiah 53:3-5)
I’m trying to let these words soak in. I hope you do too. I am a follower of Jesus but still at times I feel like I carry burdens alone and have questions like: Why is this happening? Where are you? Do you even care? Can I accept that Jesus (the Messiah) is a Man of sorrows and acquainted with deepest grief? Can you? Will we believe the words of scripture that He understands and feels and has carried our sorrows? Can we embrace that His suffering offers us wholeness and healing?
When we journey through the New Testament we see Jesus celebrating at weddings, showing His gentleness to children, offering mercy to the guilty and compassion to the sick and neglected. We also see Jesus weeping at the death of a friend and weeping with a broken heart over Jerusalem as they rejected Him. This is the heart of Jesus and also the heart of the Father. So often our picture of God the Father is an all powerful (and He is), indifferent and judgmental (and He isn’t) being. But Jesus tells us: “If you have seen Me, you have seen the Father.” (John 14:9)
As we enter this New Year, I guess I just want you to know that your tears never go unnoticed and you never cry alone. I need to know that also. Fresh starts aren’t always an option here and now on planet earth but healing is. As we enter into 2010 let’s look into the eyes of the One who is acquainted with deepest grief, the One who carries our sorrows, the One who offers us forgiveness, healing and hope. And while you keep looking into those eyes, help someone else to see what you see.
Happy New Year! 
Post note: From Jan 7-19 Rob will be traveling again with a mission team to the Pillar of Fire ministries in Liberia, West Africa. This is a nation and a people that have known great heartache through horrific violence and evil during a 15-year civil war that ended in 2004. There is still great challenge and heartache there. Please be in prayer for this team and the ministries in Liberia. If you would like to give financial support for the ministry there to children please email Jeff Olszyk, Pillar of Fire Missions Director at jolszyk@pillar.org.